Essay of the Dead

I wrote this essay two years ago for Emily. It's still pretty awesome.

Essay of the Dead

As long as George A. Romero continues to make zombie films and Max Brooks
continues to write his theories of the zombie apocalypse, the question
becomes more common: “Is a zombie apocalypse possible?” Some would argue
that it's not possible, but the more you delve into the subject, the more it
becomes possible. If, say, “Patient Zero” is infected with a zombie-like
virus, whether it be a rabies type virus or the Solanum (the virus strain
that 'causes the typical zombie, for the non-horror fans) virus itself, said
patient could easily infect the entire hospital. Since most hospitals aren't
prepared for a zombie outbreak, would they know to kill and burn the
infected body? Would they know to constrain the patient and isolate them
away from other patients? If the outbreak happens, the zombie apocalypse is
inevitable.

A slightly mutated strain of the rabies virus, such as a rage virus, could
become a cause of a zombie apocalypse, which could cause more aggressive
humans who may not eat the flesh of their victims, but will surely attack
innocent bystanders. All victims will become infected and will continue to
attack and produce more strong, fast, and angry zombies. If, on the other
hand, the Solanum virus does develop, the threat may not be so terrifying.
The Solanum virus causes weaker, slower zombies who only know one thing: eat
flesh. The Solanum infected zombies will be much easier to defend against
and easier to destroy. In either case, however, the virus will spread
rapidly and each attack will create another flesh eating zombie.

What effects will this cause on modern society though? Besides the obvious
possibility of becoming infected yourself, the other main concern is the
publics reaction. Some may get so scared that they have no idea what to do
and will stay in their homes with out boarding up the windows or locking all
the doors. Others may try and be the hero and try to attack the zombies, but
will they know to destroy the brain or remove the head? The biggest concern
is that some civilians will rob and destroy stores which would be the main
source of supplies. I mean, isn't that what you would do? Who wouldn't want
to go steal all the food and money for themselves? Well, every person is
going to be thinking the same exact thing, which in the long run means that
supplies will deplete quickly.

Another main threat is how will the Government react? Will we have the
typical cowboy president who will decide to just bomb the infected city? Or
will major companies see a possibility of a major financial income in
selling some zombie free properties, weapons, and barricades? Imagine a
military controlled Costco selling razor wire fences and motion sensing
weapons. It seems that both are very possible and plausible, seeing as how
all natural resources will become harder to come by and all public services
will diminish. With no new source of supplies, groceries, and weapons how
will people survive? Farming would be an almost impossible task if the
zombies decide to munch on the brains of cattle and poultry. Farmers would
not be able to use open lands to grow produce. Impenetrable fences will have
to be built and pre-existing tools and vehicles will have to be upgraded.
Typical tractors wont be any use without some kind of defensive weapons
attached to them. A .50 caliber gun attached, maybe? Education will surely
come to a halt with the teachers trying to attack the students. So how will
our generation improve at all? All historic figures could be forgotten and
young children may not learn how to read and write. Reproduction may not be
possible in a zombie-infected environment, seeing as how infants would not
last long amongst a zombie horde. Surely infection isn't the biggest
concern.

All these effects could not only cause a zombie apocalypse, but the
de-evolution of man kind. Without education continuing, younger survivors
will not be able to learn the typical curriculum. Without major farming
companies, fast food chains, and food industries in general, starvation will
become a major concern. If more power driven survivors get their hands on
weapons, they may rob and possibly kill other survivors. So, is the virus
itself the biggest thing to worry about, or are there bigger concerns? Our
country for sure is not ready for a zombie outbreak and neither is any
country. So it's for you decide, not only is it possible, but are you
prepared for World War Z?

M. Night Shymalan and Text books. Two very stupid things.

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Old ass song I found. And some really cool pictures to go along with it.

I found this song I wrote last year when I was all into trying to get a band going. I kind of like it still, except the end gets lame.

Ever since High School I've been so hard pressed

And all the shit you say just makes me depressed.

'Cause I don't give a fuck about boys going flacid

Or the time you shit your pants cause you tripped on Acid.

I get that you think that it sets you free,

but that kind of shit just don't appeal to me.

I spent all night glued to my tv

With all these Halo fuckers owning me,

you'd think that I'd grow up eventually,

but it beats beer pong at some lame party.

I wont get out of bed for quite a while,

'cause I just pirated a new X-files

So mulder, scully, and I will spend the night

Wallowing in pity till we feel alright

And you called me up the other day

you critique my life and then you say

"you can't live like this, your friends all worried

and your mother seemed pissed.

It's almost 3PM and you're still asleep

will you ever grow up or are you just on repeat?

and some sweet pictures I found. You'll have to click on them to see the whole picture.

The Dark Knight Rises

----------EDIT----- Apparently you'll have to click on each individual photo to see it in all it's glory.

They announced yesterday that the villains in the Dark Knight Rises will be Catwoman and Bane. This is pretty fucking awesome. Christopher Nolan keeps the graphic novels very well, which is very bad news for Bruce Wayne, because Bane fucked his shit up. Let me start off by saying Bane is not the piece of shit dumb fuck that you have seen in previous Batman flicks. No, this guy is fucking SMART. He takes over the entire gangster underground (which have had a major role in both movies so far) and is the only *physical* threat Batman has ever had. And SPOILER ALERT***** Bane fucking breaks Batman's back. IN TWO DIFFERENT STORIES! In the comic series he straight up tosses Batman off of Wayne Enterprise for half of Gotham City to see and he's not wearing a mask when this happens. And in the Graphic Novel (which monsieur Nolan has kept with) Bane breaks Batman's back over his fucking knee. Hahahaha.

Just like sew. Or so. Whatever the fuck it is. Anyway, shit's getting bad really quick for The Gotham Knight. Or Dark Knight. Whichever you like. I'm pretty excited for the Bane character. He'll get the movie role he deserves.

However, Catwoman?? And Anne Hathaway as Catwoman? I don't know how I feel about this.

Can you picture that being Anne Hathaway? I can't really. But as soon as I see Publicity photo's of her in her outfit I'll probably jizz in my pants.

And speaking of Jizz in the pants. Yesterday while I had a break in my classes I went to East Hills Mall in Bakersfield to kill some time. I had heard there was this awesome game store that sold old ass SNES games and was pretty stoked on getting one. But I never in my life expected to find this. Out of the corner of my eye I see this from the food court.

A Princess Leia life size cardboard cut out. I immediately walked in and just fucking got blown away. I'll post all the pictures at the end, but let me explain this to you. It is a HUGE comic book/vinyl record store and HALF OF THE FUCKING STORE IS STAR WARS ACTION FIGURES AND COMICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They had signed posters/figures/comics you name it, these guys had it. I fully plan on blowing at least 50 there on Tuesday when I go down to school. Just browse the photos to see how awesome it is.

Queen of the Dead

I'm going to start this post off by embarrassing myself and admitting that I am currently watching Queen of the Damned. It's so terrible it's not even funny. Lestat the vampire sings in the singer of Korns voice for some reason. Haha.

Lately in Arkansas they've been finding the bodies of dead birds just falling from the sky and dead fish washing up on shore. And I just looked more into it. It's not even just in Arkansas. In Sweden, the US, and New Zealand hundreds of birds are just dropping dead and "millions" of fish are washing up on shore. I don't know how to explain this. Zombies simply have nothing to do with it and this I know for sure. However, there are other scary possibilities. Aliens, the Apocalypse, or some really fucking deadly disease that could take us out just as easily.

Aliens are a lot smarter than Zombies (if they exist that is) and I'm not sure if hiding or going about my own personal Zombie survival *to be posted in a future update* will do shit to save anyone. The Apocalypse is even worse because there's really not a damn thing we can do about it. Long story short (because I'm ridiculously tired and it's almost 4:30am) this is getting to be pretty weird and something is going to happen soon and none of us are going to know what it is or what to do..

August 31st, 2010

Wow, I can't believe I forgot about this. Every one (meaning no one, 'cause no one reads this) is probably out of the loop. I was living (safely) in a trailer for a couple months, moved to a house, got the boot, now I live on a futon in my parents guest room. Completely fucked if my parents turn into Zombies, because their room is before mine and mine is in the very back of the house, so I'd have to break out of the window in order to get out of the house, which would just make a lot of fucking noise.

I'm in school now.. And there are a lot of unsafe spots in school. And a LOT of 20 year old Mexicans at BC. That's a lot of Mexican Zombies.

Some fat, fake blonde, ugly country singer is trying to do a country version of "Crossroads"

The Mexican zombies aren't looking so bad now.

March 31st, 2010

I haven't updated in a while, because I DIED!

Just kidding, I've been M.I.A. because no body was following and I feel like I am updating to myself. Like some sick Zombie diary, that had way too much to do with St. Louis. I'm back in shitty ol' Tehachapi, Ca. now.

Apparently they found some dead guy on the side of the highway the other day.. You know what that means? Zombies.

Tomorrow is April Fool's day, I want to find someone that does really sick makeup and walk around looking like a zombie and pretend I'm going to eat people's brains.

Lets see how many times I get punched.